Biggest week ever, and focus through some emotional turmoil

Great training week

On the training front, I haven't really got a lot to discuss - the chart down the bottom speaks for itself. It was a huge week, but the absolutely awesome thing is that I felt my body coped brilliantly with everything I threw at it. My mind is in a pretty good place too, despite some of the sadness and stress I've had to deal with this week.

Amazed to make it back to the city!

The absolute highlight of the week was my second "one way epic" of the prep. I went to the same place on the Hume Highway (Benalla) by train, but this was a 6.5 hr ride, rather than a 5 hr ride like last time. I estimated where I would end up (about Preston), and Pete was going to drive out there to meet me, then I could run around there for my 45 min run. As it happened, the tailwind was even better than last time, and I was pushing some decent power too, so I ended up in Richmond! As with the last one of these rides, I am under no kind of delusion that this makes me a 5h 30min Ironman cyclist! And it could be argued that I took a soft option by choosing to ride one way with a tailwind. BUT 6h 30min is the longest Ironman training ride I have done for a LONG time. I did it solo (more on my mental/emotional issues with that later) and the main positives I took from it were:
a) that I stayed REALLY upbeat the whole ride - no negative patches at all (remember - training the Ironman bike has been a hate/hate relationship for me in the past).
b) I had boundless energy, despite a big week of training. I feel like I've really got my nutrition (and hydration) dialed in. And I'm more and more convinced that the extra few kgs I'm carrying have benefited my training and recovery no end.
c) I felt awesome running off the bike. I haven't had a predominantly TT training ride (with very few stops) for a long time where I've felt that good running off the bike. I'm hoping the numbness issues I had on the run in IMNZ will stay away during the race in Kona.

My long run today was my longest duration since 2011, though not quite as far, as I'm nowhere near as fast as I was then! It went really well physically, and once I got going, I quite enjoyed it, but there was a lot of anxiety before the start (see below).

One note about my chest - I saw my physio, Cory on Wednesday and he's pretty certain I cracked a rib, since there is a lump on it, and that's where the pain is located. Fortunately I'm almost swimming normally now, and it only hurts on a really deep breath, or when I cough.

Fear of being lonely

I've always quite enjoyed being on my own at times. As a kid, I used to take myself off for hours on my own, riding my bike, or later my pony. But in training for triathlon, I get really anxious before some long sessions, and I know it stems from being lonely. Even when Pete is with me, if he's not chatting, I can tend to struggle when I'm left with my own thoughts. The tough times in races are never as difficult for me as those times in training when my head-space isn't good, and I'm on my own. 

Fortunately in this prep, although there have been more solo sessions than group ones, I have managed to deal with that anxiety better than ever before, which is a big step forward. Certainly having variety in my sessions (like the one way epics) helps. So do podcasts or music, but I think also I have gone into sessions with less expectation of pace than ever before, and that certainly makes a big difference to mindset.

Holding my sh$t together 

A couple of sad events recently had the potential to really throw me into turmoil. While I was in Townsville our 16yo beagle, Monty became very ill. Peter had to take him to be put to sleep in the middle of the night on Monday. He was absolutely devasted and was clearly grieving all week. 

Meanwhile, my mum (in the UK) was recently diagnosed with a tumour on her kidney and has been waiting to get a date for major surgery. She found out this week that this will be while I am in Kona.

Monty in 2001

I feel strange, and probably a little guilty for how I have reacted to all this happening. Yes, there have been tears, but I got back from Townsville and had to teach on Wednesday and Thursday. I just felt like allowing a "normal" emotional reaction would mean I would completely fall apart. So I guess I compartmentalised it all. I made a lot of lists of things to do this week, which is something, since I've been more relaxed that I don't do as often.
I got work done, got training done, took Monty's bed, blankets etc to the tip (Pete was in no state to do that). I also changed my flights from Hawaii so I can go straight to the UK. I will spend a few days with Pete in Honolulu first- mostly because I am seriously scared about the risk of DVT if I flew long haul too soon after the race.

And as I said to Pete; I just "had to hold my shit together".

It's interesting how major events like that can actually help you to focus. You stop stressing about minor things (like keeping the house tidy, or cooking "ideal" food) - we got takeaway Saturday and ate out Sunday. I just didn't have it in me to cook. 

And regarding the race: Ironman, and particularly Hawaii is the be-all and end-all of life for many people. But death and illness can give you some real perspective that can often be lost in the hype.

In 2011 before IM France, I was really ill with Giardiasis (amoebic dysentery) 4 weeks out. Just being well enough to start that race, I am sure led me to race with no pressure on myself, relish every second, and end up having the race of my life.

I lost my Grandmother and Uni friend Briony before Malaysia 2014. I also raced there with nothing but joy at being ABLE to do what I love.

And now Monty. I see Pete in so much emotional pain, and I think "what is a bit of loneliness while I am riding or running?" Similarly, my mum is anxious about being in pain after her op. She is the strongest woman I have ever met, and to hear her fears about pain breaks my heart. I wish I could be beside her when she wakes up, but mostly I wish I could take her pain on myself. When I race, I CHOOSE to take on pain, and push through it. Not everyone can make that choice. I will remember that when I am racing in paradise, no matter how tough it will get.

3 weeks to go

The week's numbers

This week the red and yellows are EXTRA kms, not less!!

Escaping the cold and banking some solid hours

My injured chest almost became the focus of another week's blog. I had a big day of driving and research on Monday, but did no heavy lifting that could worsen the injury, so when I woke up on Tuesday it felt the best it had since I fell. I went to squad swimming and used a snorkel, at the back of the lane. It wasn't too bad for about 30min, and really that's when I should have got out. But I wanted to finish the session and get the damn green box on my training peaks chart. So I swam for the full 60min, and by the end of the session, was kicking myself as my intercostal was spasming again, and was seriously painful for the first half of my 60min run. 

I was so angry at myself for chasing a perfect record on my program, with the cost being a potentially longer healing time. I messaged Xavier, my coach and asked him to remove any time or distance specifics from my swims for the next week or so- I would still attempt the swims, but just not be stressed about "failing" because I hadn't done them to the exact specifications on my program. 

Wednesday, I had a cracking ride/run in the morning, followed by a second run in the afternoon. I did this second run from the pool, so I was there ready to attempt my evening swim. By now, the anxiety had really set in, to the point where I almost didn't start the swim, in case I made it worse, or the pain was too bad. Although things were improving, I still had pain when I breathed deeply. 

I'm glad I did swim. I treated it purely as a learning exercise. What could I do without too much pain? And what made things worse? I realised that the extra effort to breathe through a snorkel or when swimming single arm actually made things worse than when I swam normally, and that I was most comfortable (in fact pain free) when I swam without breathing! Not ideal, but that, and the fact I could do backstroke with no pain confirmed that the issue all lay in the rib/intercostal/pleura areas rather than my swimming muscles. 

But enough about my stupid injury for now. 

The other awesome thing that happened on Wednesday was that I was asked to speak to year 12 VCE sports science students about training for and racing Ironman triathlon. They were a really lovely group of kids. I told them about my story, from the beginning in 2005, when I couldn't swim further than 250m, through to the prep for this race. I shared some of my thoughts on training (consistency is key, above all else), group vs solo training, the principles of Training Peaks, heat acclimation and more. They listened intently and asked some really pertinent questions. Hopefully it will help to cement some of the theory they have been taught, for their exams. 

Thursday I was privileged enough to escape the cold of Melbourne, with a trip to Townsville, from where I am writing this.

Before I write anything about the training I did in Townsville, I have to mention the couple who went out of their way to make this a training camp like no other. Rikki Lee and her partner, Kim. Rikki raced Kona in 2015 with me, and despite not having the day she wanted there, will, I am certain go back and dispense a lot of justice on the Big Island. Rikki planned things around all my sessions so she could either train with me, give me routes to go on, or even ride alongside me and hand me water. Amazing. Meanwhile Kim, who was busy training herself had food on the table as soon as we'd finished training, and insisted I relax when I wasn't training! They have been absolutely wonderful to me. If karma is a real thing, I think Rikki will have a LOT in the bank for her next race! 

The last 3 days have been pretty huge,  - the massive positive I take from them is that I've had no end of energy, and the legs felt strong in every session. 

Following a 3.5 hour ride on Friday, a 5.5 hour ride Saturday (with the toughest climb I have ever done - harder than the Back of Falls), I managed to average 5.32/km for my 30 km run in the heat on Sunday. I was really happy with that. There were too many amazing highlights during the Townsville sessions to recount them all here, but a selection of pictures below sum them up. 

With another big ride tomorrow, the weekend will have given my fitness a huge boost. It's also given me the chance to work on my hydration. I didn't drink nearly enough in the race in Cebu, so I've really worked on taking in more fluid during this trip. I set an alarm on my Garmin for every mile on my run (the distance between aid stations in Kona) and I took water and salt after every alarm.

Unfortunately the big ride (and climb) on Saturday must have hurt my chest, as today it was seriously painful for every breath of my 2h 45min run. I was so disappointed that such a wonderful, beautiful run could be spoiled by constant pain like that. I also felt bad because Rikki drove into town and rode alongside me for my last 30 minutes. I was pretty quiet (except when I was swearing about the chest!) but Rikki kept chatting away regardless. 

The great news is that after I'd written the paragraph above, I went with Rikki to swim in yet another gorgeous pool up here. To my amazement (and joy!) there was NO PAIN WHATSOEVER for the whole 2.5km swim, and my pace wasn't too far off what it would normally be on a Sunday. Of course shouting "I'M BAAAAACK!" to Rikki hurt like hell! 

4 weeks to go

The week's stats

I get knocked down.....but I get up again

....you ain't never gonna keep me down. Or so the song went (if I remember correctly from my post-rugby match drinking days)

And post-rugby match is exactly the way my body has felt since I face planted on Wednesday 😢

It's funny, what I love about writing these blogs is that I'm planning them in my mind all week (that can be a great distraction during long training sessions). But by Wednesday I was beginning to worry it would be a bit of a boring week, just a review of all the training sessions I was ticking off as planned. Until about 8am that is.

 I'd ridden that morning with the Trifitness crew. A really solid ride back into strong headwind, made harder by the indoor 2hr session I'd done in a 35C tent on Tuesday as part of the sodium study I'm involved with. 

I was absolutely frozen when I finished the ride - the wind had been bitterly cold. I stood by our heater for a few minutes, but decided I'd better just get my 30min run off the bike done, and then I could warm up.

The face plant

My feet were frozen, and I couldn't really feel them as I ran. I couldn't have been any more than about 4 min into the run, when a paving stone jumped up out of the ground and tripped me!!! I went down very very hard. Hit my hands and knees first, but I guess the rugby instincts kicked in and I immediately rolled on my right shoulder. I sat on the footpath, a little stunned. Checked my knee was ok, and there didn't seem to be any major damage. I walked a few steps, started jogging, and thought I must be OK. Finished the run, but felt what seemed like a little stitch in my right chest area, towards the end. I was in a bit of a daze the rest of the day, went to work, but wasn't very switched on. 

I went to the pool that night, and by then the chest was quite sore. But I wanted to know if it was even feasible to turn up to swim squad the next morning. Oh at this point I should mention that Johnny, my swim coach had returned from the UK and on Tuesday we had discussed how we would fine tune my swim in the next few weeks to get every extra percent I could for race day. "Icing on the cake, so to speak".
Hmmmm - best laid plans........

Well I swam about 1.5km, mostly single arm, and realised that a squad session in 12 hrs time was ridiculous. I messaged Xavier when I got home, told him the situation and he advised me to take the next day off completely and let everything settle down. This is why I need a coach. Many people follow online programs, and I'm sure they can work really well. But I would have tried to do the swim and run come what may, if it hadn't been for Xavier advising me not to. I did go for a walk, just to get some fresh air, but with deep breathing still hurting, I can't imagine that I could have run. Still, I was looking at the positives - I could easily have broken a collar bone the way I fell, or really hurt my knees. A bit of muscle soreness wasn't the end of the world. 

On Friday I got up, and the pain across my chest seemed less, although all the muscles in my right arm and shoulder felt tighter. I thought an easy swim might help to loosen them, so I hopped in the pool. Er no. Very easy swimming, with limited breathing was kind of ok (still, every stroke hurt), but even single arm with the good side hurt, and breathing deeply was even worse. I realised then that I'd probably damaged an intercostal muscle (between the ribs). 

Intercostal strain - hoping for a faster healing time than that!

Of course, this was a self-diagnosis, but us vets love to diagnose our own injuries! I managed one hour on the wind trainer and at least I could grip the brakes, so felt confident I'd be able to ride the next day. I loaded up on anti inflammatories on Friday night and hoped that another night would help settle it down. But I changed my ride plan just in case - I would ride out to the foot of the hills, about 90min, and Pete would drive out so there was a car in case I had to abort. Then I would do hill reps until my 5.5hrs was up. 

Saturday dawned, and as forecast, it was dry in Melbourne. But the "few showers" in the east turned out to be heavy rain, and by the time I got to The Basin, I was soaked. My chest had been really painful (like nauseating pain) for 30 min, but had eased up a bit as I got going. But sitting in the cafe at the bottom of the climb, and seeing the state of the cyclists who had been up the top, I realised that with a less than 100% functional right side, descending in the wet and cold could be dangerous. Pete arrived. There were tears. I think I said "if I have to train through another shit winter like this again, I just won't do this sport". Then I pulled myself together, and came up with a plan. I'd ride home, and depending on the weather when I got back, either complete the 5.5 hrs on the windtrainer indoors, or change clothes and head north (where it seemed drier) to do laps of Kew. That's what I ended up doing. I think mentally that has to be the hardest bike session of any race prep I have done. Just being so wet and cold, but also in constant pain, and unable to get out of the saddle on climbs, or push the descents made it seem more like 11hrs. I tried to run off the bike, and managed 15 min, but every breath in AND out felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest. It didn't get any worse, but I was wondering if I could tolerate that much pain for 2h 45 min during my long run the next day.
Fortunately I had a follow up appointment with Dr Mitch Anderson (who admirably consults on Saturday afternoons). I went in with my own self-diagnosis (which he correctly asked me to keep to myself until he'd assessed me!!!! Classic!) Anyway I was right! And fortunately he was thinking along the same lines as me - there is no functional problem with my arm or shoulder, just pain when I breathe deeply. So if we can control the pain and swelling, it won't keep impacting my training.
Hallelujah.....cortisone to the rescue!!
Now I want to add that I absolutely avoid anti-inflammatories and cortisone injections like the plague usually. Because as an endurance athlete, the usual reason we may need those interventions is because we have overdone things, and have overuse injuries/ niggles. And that means the best treatment is to back off or rest.
But this isn't overuse. It's a traumatic injury. Mitch mentioned that I may have also damaged the pleura (the thin layer of tissue that separates the lung from the chest wall). Any damage to that is incredibly painful. But there were no signs of effusion, or bleeding in the pleura, so he was confident the cortisone would settle the problem enough to make me more comfortable. Wow. What a relief! I knew when I woke up today that I could breathe more easily, and there was none of the stabbing pain there had been yesterday.
I can't say it's great, I could feel pain across my chest and back throughout my 29 km hill run, and I had to walk a couple of sections, rather than get out of breath, but I am SO grateful to Mitch for giving me the opportunity to do that run.
I also managed some kind of a swim this evening - using a snorkel, so I wasn't having to take deep breaths. And 1 km of single arm - well my left arm IS the weaker one, so that has to be a bonus!

I'm also really grateful to a couple of other people:

Zoe Clark. Zoe raced Kona with me in 2015. A formidable athlete, but she has stepped away from triathlon somewhat recently. I think she realised how I'd been struggling with loneliness during a lot of my weekend sessions, and she came out to meet me today and ran my second lap with me. Zoe, if you're reading this, I can't begin to say how grateful I am for that.

Peter. He worries about me. He knows how determined I can be to achieve my goals (whatever they actually are for this race - I'm not sure yet!!!). But also, he knows how self-destructive following those goals can be for me. I'm selfish a lot of the time. He, without question has compromised his own training recently, just to make sure I am supported and OK. Yesterday, he was up at 5am, making me coffee, driving out 40km, only to pack up and drive back again.

Peter - my rock

For my "one way epic" he rode INTO the wind, to meet me, while I was yelling "yeehaa" on my glory run with the wind. It is emotionally exhausting supporting someone like that. There have been times where the last thing he wants to talk about is triathlon. So all I can say is that I am utterly grateful for all of it.

Next year Pete wants to race the Ironman 70.3 World Champs in South Africa. I've qualified already (in Cebu), so after Kona, it's Pete's turn. Yes, I'll race next year, but not a full Ironman. It's Pete's turn to focus on his goals.

I dared to think that for my swim, the next few weeks would be the "icing on the cake". As I said earlier today, I'm confident I will be able to swim, and swim well in Hawaii, but maybe the icing will now be a little thinner (or lumpier!) than I might like. But that's Ironman. Goal number one HAS to be to make the start line healthy and in one piece. At the moment I feel a little broken, but 5 weeks is still plenty of time to heal. And when I played rugby, I always got up again, no matter how many times I was knocked down.

5 WEEKS TO GO

The week's stats - too many reds for my liking

Back on track, VO 2 the MAX and perspective

Back on track

VO2max test

This week really went well. There were very minimal signs of the hole I was in last week, although I did keep my appointment with Dr Mitch Anderson, and he ran some bloods just to make sure I have no obvious issues (more on his thoughts about my fatigue later). I also got to have a VO2 max test done as part of a study, which was pretty cool, but freaked me out a bit (also more later).

I ticked off all but one of my sessions relatively easily. The dodgy one was Thursday's run and I left it a bit late in the day. I've learned over the years that by Thursday, I need to get my run done by lunchtime otherwise my energy levels are pretty low. I had my long ride planned for Friday, so I started the run, but when I didn't feel much better by 10 mins in, I made the call to cut it to 30 min and save those chips for the next day. 

One way epic!

I'm so glad I did. I had a fabulous ride, done as a "one way epic". This is something I like to do once every Ironman prep. I got the train to Benalla (about 200 km north east of Melbourne) and rode 150 km one way to Wallan, where Pete had parked the car. He rode out to meet me and kept me company for the last 30 km. I think he was quite shocked when he joined me, as I was 100% in the zone and very focused on holding my target power (about 162 W average for the freeway section, which I was really happy with). 

Finishing my long run - with Hawaiian style plants behind me

The ride gave me a real confidence boost, and some great practice of focus and holding that Ironman effort for an extended period. Make no mistake though, I chose to ride in the direction that would give me tailwind, and obviously this could have given me an over-inflated opinion of the speed I was capable of holding. But I've done Hawaii twice, and I have extremely clear memories of that headwind on the Queen K! See perspective on my bike expectations.

A huge bonus to come from riding on Friday was that I could do a longer swim set on Saturday, and I banged out 5 x 1 km (plus change) relatively easily, and at a pretty decent pace. I followed that up with a 2.5 hr long hill run, which although not particularly fast, felt strong. The legs are definitely coming back.

VO2 max and Perspective 

First my conversation with Dr Mitch, who is an ex pro triathlete, and world 12 hr cycling record holder. When I discussed what had happened last week, he seemed to think I thoroughly cooked myself in the race in Cebu, although the effects of that didn't show up until later. A timely reminder to review my hydration strategy for Kona. I didn't pee for 13 hrs on race day in Cebu (so about 7 hours post race), which means I seriously under-did my hydration. It's easy to assume that after 9 Ironmans, 6 of which were in hot conditions, I would have dialed in my hydration strategy. But I think as our bodies change, so does the way we function in the heat. I am a lot heavier than in the past, and I probably needed more fluid in Cebu than I had realised. The whole situation has given me the opportunity to reassess my hydration plan, and to make sure I am on top of it for Hawaii.

The VO2 max test was interesting, frustrating and a little disappointing. I won't go into enormous detail, but it came out to be around 48, which I thought was pretty poor. Pete came to the rescue to give me some perspective (before I completely lost the plot) and found some charts that indicate it's not too bad. But (as is always the case on the bike for me), I felt like my legs failed way before my heart or lungs did - my max heart rate for the test was 153 bpm; incredibly low for most people. Another issue I had with the results was that I seemed to have a pretty low point at which I stopped burning fat, and switched to carbohydrate, despite having worked on my fat-burning capacity for years. Again, I won't go into an enormous amount of detail on this, but after reaching out to a few knowledgeable people in this field, this "crossover point" as it is known can be affected by a number of things on the day. What it did indicate to me was that my use of strategic carbohydrate on race day will be even more likely to help my performance, and I will look at my nutrition plan with that in mind.

I guess the other bit of perspective I gained was around my potential bike performance. I've always considered the bike my weak leg. But in IM New Zealand, I really had a breakthrough and my bike result was one of my strongest. But your VO2 max is really what determines what you are capable of. That results, and what I managed in my one way epic, although it was a good day, made me realise i'm not suddenly going to rock up to Kona and produce an uber-biker result. In 2011 I went under 6 hrs. But I've heard that year was one of the fastest for the bike results in the past decade. I am confident I can substantially improve on my 6.33 of 2015, however, and I guess anything faster than midway between those 2 times would be pretty good. So I guess that's goal number one - sub 6.15 for the bike.

The last bit of perspective I had was about distance and time. Early on in an Ironman build, the thought of a 5 hour ride seems crazy to me. On Friday, I was so in the zone, so focused on that ride, the time flew by. Then, hitting the pool for 5 x 1 km the next day, seemed like a breeze. I really love that in the past week or so, my brain has kicked into race prep mode properly, and my focus seems to have really come to the fore. I received the next 4 weeks program from my coach tonight. There are some massive weeks ahead, and I was so excited to see them!
The best session?
Friday September 29th: Swim 2 km of choice.
Why is that the best?
Because it will be in Kailua Bay in KONA!!!

The week's stats: 6 weeks to go