Biggest week ever, and focus through some emotional turmoil

Great training week

On the training front, I haven't really got a lot to discuss - the chart down the bottom speaks for itself. It was a huge week, but the absolutely awesome thing is that I felt my body coped brilliantly with everything I threw at it. My mind is in a pretty good place too, despite some of the sadness and stress I've had to deal with this week.

Amazed to make it back to the city!

The absolute highlight of the week was my second "one way epic" of the prep. I went to the same place on the Hume Highway (Benalla) by train, but this was a 6.5 hr ride, rather than a 5 hr ride like last time. I estimated where I would end up (about Preston), and Pete was going to drive out there to meet me, then I could run around there for my 45 min run. As it happened, the tailwind was even better than last time, and I was pushing some decent power too, so I ended up in Richmond! As with the last one of these rides, I am under no kind of delusion that this makes me a 5h 30min Ironman cyclist! And it could be argued that I took a soft option by choosing to ride one way with a tailwind. BUT 6h 30min is the longest Ironman training ride I have done for a LONG time. I did it solo (more on my mental/emotional issues with that later) and the main positives I took from it were:
a) that I stayed REALLY upbeat the whole ride - no negative patches at all (remember - training the Ironman bike has been a hate/hate relationship for me in the past).
b) I had boundless energy, despite a big week of training. I feel like I've really got my nutrition (and hydration) dialed in. And I'm more and more convinced that the extra few kgs I'm carrying have benefited my training and recovery no end.
c) I felt awesome running off the bike. I haven't had a predominantly TT training ride (with very few stops) for a long time where I've felt that good running off the bike. I'm hoping the numbness issues I had on the run in IMNZ will stay away during the race in Kona.

My long run today was my longest duration since 2011, though not quite as far, as I'm nowhere near as fast as I was then! It went really well physically, and once I got going, I quite enjoyed it, but there was a lot of anxiety before the start (see below).

One note about my chest - I saw my physio, Cory on Wednesday and he's pretty certain I cracked a rib, since there is a lump on it, and that's where the pain is located. Fortunately I'm almost swimming normally now, and it only hurts on a really deep breath, or when I cough.

Fear of being lonely

I've always quite enjoyed being on my own at times. As a kid, I used to take myself off for hours on my own, riding my bike, or later my pony. But in training for triathlon, I get really anxious before some long sessions, and I know it stems from being lonely. Even when Pete is with me, if he's not chatting, I can tend to struggle when I'm left with my own thoughts. The tough times in races are never as difficult for me as those times in training when my head-space isn't good, and I'm on my own. 

Fortunately in this prep, although there have been more solo sessions than group ones, I have managed to deal with that anxiety better than ever before, which is a big step forward. Certainly having variety in my sessions (like the one way epics) helps. So do podcasts or music, but I think also I have gone into sessions with less expectation of pace than ever before, and that certainly makes a big difference to mindset.

Holding my sh$t together 

A couple of sad events recently had the potential to really throw me into turmoil. While I was in Townsville our 16yo beagle, Monty became very ill. Peter had to take him to be put to sleep in the middle of the night on Monday. He was absolutely devasted and was clearly grieving all week. 

Meanwhile, my mum (in the UK) was recently diagnosed with a tumour on her kidney and has been waiting to get a date for major surgery. She found out this week that this will be while I am in Kona.

Monty in 2001

I feel strange, and probably a little guilty for how I have reacted to all this happening. Yes, there have been tears, but I got back from Townsville and had to teach on Wednesday and Thursday. I just felt like allowing a "normal" emotional reaction would mean I would completely fall apart. So I guess I compartmentalised it all. I made a lot of lists of things to do this week, which is something, since I've been more relaxed that I don't do as often.
I got work done, got training done, took Monty's bed, blankets etc to the tip (Pete was in no state to do that). I also changed my flights from Hawaii so I can go straight to the UK. I will spend a few days with Pete in Honolulu first- mostly because I am seriously scared about the risk of DVT if I flew long haul too soon after the race.

And as I said to Pete; I just "had to hold my shit together".

It's interesting how major events like that can actually help you to focus. You stop stressing about minor things (like keeping the house tidy, or cooking "ideal" food) - we got takeaway Saturday and ate out Sunday. I just didn't have it in me to cook. 

And regarding the race: Ironman, and particularly Hawaii is the be-all and end-all of life for many people. But death and illness can give you some real perspective that can often be lost in the hype.

In 2011 before IM France, I was really ill with Giardiasis (amoebic dysentery) 4 weeks out. Just being well enough to start that race, I am sure led me to race with no pressure on myself, relish every second, and end up having the race of my life.

I lost my Grandmother and Uni friend Briony before Malaysia 2014. I also raced there with nothing but joy at being ABLE to do what I love.

And now Monty. I see Pete in so much emotional pain, and I think "what is a bit of loneliness while I am riding or running?" Similarly, my mum is anxious about being in pain after her op. She is the strongest woman I have ever met, and to hear her fears about pain breaks my heart. I wish I could be beside her when she wakes up, but mostly I wish I could take her pain on myself. When I race, I CHOOSE to take on pain, and push through it. Not everyone can make that choice. I will remember that when I am racing in paradise, no matter how tough it will get.

3 weeks to go

The week's numbers

This week the red and yellows are EXTRA kms, not less!!

Back on track, VO 2 the MAX and perspective

Back on track

VO2max test

This week really went well. There were very minimal signs of the hole I was in last week, although I did keep my appointment with Dr Mitch Anderson, and he ran some bloods just to make sure I have no obvious issues (more on his thoughts about my fatigue later). I also got to have a VO2 max test done as part of a study, which was pretty cool, but freaked me out a bit (also more later).

I ticked off all but one of my sessions relatively easily. The dodgy one was Thursday's run and I left it a bit late in the day. I've learned over the years that by Thursday, I need to get my run done by lunchtime otherwise my energy levels are pretty low. I had my long ride planned for Friday, so I started the run, but when I didn't feel much better by 10 mins in, I made the call to cut it to 30 min and save those chips for the next day. 

One way epic!

I'm so glad I did. I had a fabulous ride, done as a "one way epic". This is something I like to do once every Ironman prep. I got the train to Benalla (about 200 km north east of Melbourne) and rode 150 km one way to Wallan, where Pete had parked the car. He rode out to meet me and kept me company for the last 30 km. I think he was quite shocked when he joined me, as I was 100% in the zone and very focused on holding my target power (about 162 W average for the freeway section, which I was really happy with). 

Finishing my long run - with Hawaiian style plants behind me

The ride gave me a real confidence boost, and some great practice of focus and holding that Ironman effort for an extended period. Make no mistake though, I chose to ride in the direction that would give me tailwind, and obviously this could have given me an over-inflated opinion of the speed I was capable of holding. But I've done Hawaii twice, and I have extremely clear memories of that headwind on the Queen K! See perspective on my bike expectations.

A huge bonus to come from riding on Friday was that I could do a longer swim set on Saturday, and I banged out 5 x 1 km (plus change) relatively easily, and at a pretty decent pace. I followed that up with a 2.5 hr long hill run, which although not particularly fast, felt strong. The legs are definitely coming back.

VO2 max and Perspective 

First my conversation with Dr Mitch, who is an ex pro triathlete, and world 12 hr cycling record holder. When I discussed what had happened last week, he seemed to think I thoroughly cooked myself in the race in Cebu, although the effects of that didn't show up until later. A timely reminder to review my hydration strategy for Kona. I didn't pee for 13 hrs on race day in Cebu (so about 7 hours post race), which means I seriously under-did my hydration. It's easy to assume that after 9 Ironmans, 6 of which were in hot conditions, I would have dialed in my hydration strategy. But I think as our bodies change, so does the way we function in the heat. I am a lot heavier than in the past, and I probably needed more fluid in Cebu than I had realised. The whole situation has given me the opportunity to reassess my hydration plan, and to make sure I am on top of it for Hawaii.

The VO2 max test was interesting, frustrating and a little disappointing. I won't go into enormous detail, but it came out to be around 48, which I thought was pretty poor. Pete came to the rescue to give me some perspective (before I completely lost the plot) and found some charts that indicate it's not too bad. But (as is always the case on the bike for me), I felt like my legs failed way before my heart or lungs did - my max heart rate for the test was 153 bpm; incredibly low for most people. Another issue I had with the results was that I seemed to have a pretty low point at which I stopped burning fat, and switched to carbohydrate, despite having worked on my fat-burning capacity for years. Again, I won't go into an enormous amount of detail on this, but after reaching out to a few knowledgeable people in this field, this "crossover point" as it is known can be affected by a number of things on the day. What it did indicate to me was that my use of strategic carbohydrate on race day will be even more likely to help my performance, and I will look at my nutrition plan with that in mind.

I guess the other bit of perspective I gained was around my potential bike performance. I've always considered the bike my weak leg. But in IM New Zealand, I really had a breakthrough and my bike result was one of my strongest. But your VO2 max is really what determines what you are capable of. That results, and what I managed in my one way epic, although it was a good day, made me realise i'm not suddenly going to rock up to Kona and produce an uber-biker result. In 2011 I went under 6 hrs. But I've heard that year was one of the fastest for the bike results in the past decade. I am confident I can substantially improve on my 6.33 of 2015, however, and I guess anything faster than midway between those 2 times would be pretty good. So I guess that's goal number one - sub 6.15 for the bike.

The last bit of perspective I had was about distance and time. Early on in an Ironman build, the thought of a 5 hour ride seems crazy to me. On Friday, I was so in the zone, so focused on that ride, the time flew by. Then, hitting the pool for 5 x 1 km the next day, seemed like a breeze. I really love that in the past week or so, my brain has kicked into race prep mode properly, and my focus seems to have really come to the fore. I received the next 4 weeks program from my coach tonight. There are some massive weeks ahead, and I was so excited to see them!
The best session?
Friday September 29th: Swim 2 km of choice.
Why is that the best?
Because it will be in Kailua Bay in KONA!!!

The week's stats: 6 weeks to go

12 weeks to Hawaii Ironman World Champs - Survival

One of the pleasures of my previous two races in Kona was writing my "12 weeks to Hawaii" blogs. The first focused mostly on the weekly training, volume, hours etc. Link here:
12 weeks to Hawaii - the first blog

The second, on my build up to the 2015 race was a lot more reflective of my thoughts and feelings about the build up to the race. Link here:

12 weeks to Hawaii - the return!

I guess this blog will be a combination of the two - my biggest view ever was my "Top tips for success in Ironman....for age group triathletes". So I guess that's the kind of thing people like to read (not that I think I'm much of an authority!)

So, where am I with my prep? And why the heading of this blog?

Physical state

Physically - I think I'm in a better place than ever before, regarding my swimming and cycling. I met with my coach, Xavier after IMNZ and he said he wanted to make sure my levels of enthusiasm for training (which were obviously pretty high, post race) didn't gradually decline all winter. So we planned to load up the bike kms while the weather was ok, and keep the running-induced fatigue low early on.

Training in Noosa

 I've been lucky enough to take a couple of trips to warmer climes too. We flew up to Cairns in June, coinciding with the Ironman up there, where some athletes were racing on our Wheelscience wheels and I did a big few days on the bike/swim, then I had a week up in Noosa in early July. What an incredible experience, to train like a pro! I have seen some huge improvements in my swimming, and fitness in general (eg resting heart rate) as a result of that week.
My running has a fair way to go (but hey, 12 weeks is a long time!) I've had some positive signs that it's on the improve, like a couple of my runs off the bike. But I gained a LOAD of weight after IMNZ, (which I raced at the heaviest of any of my Ironmans anyway). I refuse to starve myself though - I am very much focused on recovery and how I feel, rather than what I look like, and numbers on the scales. But, there's no denying that run performance is inversely correlated to weight, and unless you can do a lot of speed work to get those bigger legs firing, the excess kgs will cost. They are coming off slowly though, and while I know that I don't want to be racing in the heat of Kona carrying too much extra weight, my "ideal race weight" for the race that I want over there, may be very different from previous years, if my current swim and bike numbers are anything to go by.

Mental state

From the training perspective, I'm in a great place. I utterly detest riding indoors on the windtrainer, but we are having some really bad weather in Melbourne, and I am persuading myself that the indoor sessions in a heated room (it's often 30C by the time we've done the session and steamed it up!) will really help with our next race on 6th August (Cebu 70.3 in the Philippines) . Also, remember I am married to an Ironman athlete who would LOVE to get to Kona - that's a good reminder that I chose to take the slot, and I'm extremely fortunate to be having a third crack at it.


But the biggest risk to my training, recovery (and I believe weight loss) are the other stressors I allow to impact me. I have had a lot of stress at work the last year or so. I am on a fixed - term part time contract, and although there was an opportunity to apply for a full time permanent role, I chose not to, as I believe it would have severely limited other aspects of my job, and life in general. Of course this decision has left me having to fight to keep some kind of a job in teaching, and scrabbling to find research funding. I also had the culmination of a huge, 2-year research project at the end of June - a pretty stressful few weeks as I tried to write up the final report! But I love the work I do, and I still think the stress is worth it, when I find new answers in my research, or a student tells me I have inspired them (and I don't mean athletically!)

Larger-than-life Travis "happy" Tremayne with me in Kona in 2013

And now on to the "Survival" aspect of the blog title. In the past month, we have learned that 3 very close friends have had serious illnesses. This threw me into a huge turmoil, emotionally. I am talking about 3 healthy, fit people here, all in their 40s, all with life-threatening illnesses. It made me question a lot about my life, and my approach to it. Ambition in my career - why? Goals in triathlon - why? Being organised, and planning every day of our lives - why? I have seriously questioned the point of any of it. And yet, the ironic thing is that I believe all 3 of these amazing people would not for a second question those things. They are all ambitious, driven go-getters who grab life by the balls, and make every day count. Which makes it suck even more that they should be dealt these health blows. The other thing that really stands out when I read their stories or talk to them is the will to survive. And hence the word in the title, Survival. We talk about it flippantly as athletes "oh, by the last 5km, it was just survival". No it's not. What our friends are doing - having surgeries, radiotherapy, taking meds. THAT's survival. And I will remember that when times get tough in the coming months, and in Kona itself. They, and others struggling with their health will inspire me. And I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about the emotional stress their news has caused me. I'd happily take that on board if it meant I could in some way help their recovery.

The week's totals, for the numbers geeks! : 12 weeks to go