My 3rd time lucky(?) Pre-race musings

No, it's not going to be 3rd time lucky

You see, in my eyes, I got my slot for Kona in 2011, and I'd already achieved my dream. To race in Hawaii. I didn't have my ideal race that year - if anyone wants to read my race report, it's in 3 parts - starting with the link below

Kona 2011 Race report part 1

Happy in 2015

But I definitely didn't leave with any regrets - I'd done everything I thought I could do to have a good race, I'd finished and I was happy.

In 2015, I came with one goal - a sub 4 hour run. And despite some G.I. issues, I achieved that goal. In fact, I finished in 2015 pretty happy that if I never bettered that result here in Kona, I would be fine with that. 

So really on Saturday, I've got nothing to lose. By that, I don't mean either I don't care how my race goes, or that I'll throw caution to the wind and go out super hard! But I mean that I'm not that attached to a particular result, be it time based or placing based. 

But we all need some kind of a carrot!

You don't CHOOSE to train for hours on the bike in the kind of winter we had in Melbourne this year, unless there is some kind of motivation to do that. And I guess that makes it sound like my main goal is around the bike result. 

Far from it.

I certainly do have some goals for the bike, and I'll talk about them shortly. But the main goal is to execute the ride to my potential, but in doing that, to set myself up to have the best run I am capable of. 

But what is that?

First the swim

I had some pretty clear goals for the swim through my prep. One was (given reasonable conditions) to beat my time of 2015, which was 1:07:23. I also had the goal of being the top Aussie in my age group in the swim. But I think there are a few Aussie fish in my category, so we'll see about that one. I was 15th in my age group for the swim last time - maybe top 10 is realistic? 

But since all my real goals are process/ execution based, rather than results- based, my main goal for the swim is to "get on feet, stay on feet" (which will actually be a mantra through the swim).

The bike

My awesome bike

Now this gets interesting. Again, the main goal is execution-based. But I what about time goals? Well it has to be said that 6:33:32 should be beatable, even in bad conditions? I certainly don't think I'd get close to the 5:57:18 that I clocked in 2011. So maybe something in the middle of the two? 6:15 is exactly in the middle, so maybe that could be my "ideal" goal. Certainly my Dimond bike and awesome Wheelscience race wheels will give me the confidence in the cross winds from Hawi. 

But in terms of process, the goal is to absolutely nail my nutrition and hydration on the bike. To not overdo the first 20-30km, and to stay strong mentally on the return from Kawaihae, no matter what the wind does (my nemesis section previously).

And the run

So last time, it was "all about the run". Really, I just want to put all three legs together well on Saturday. But a marathon is a marathon, and you need some kind of a carrot to make you want to suffer when the time comes (and if it's like Ironman NZ, that was approximately 3km into the run!!) So, originally I had the same goal as 2015 - go sub 4 hours. I think that is feasible. I haven't done quite as much run training, or intensity work as I did for that race, but I'm hoping I will be off the bike in better shape, and won't lose 7 minutes (and precious fluid) in the portaloos! So maybe I can beat the 3.56 of 2015. 

Boston Q times

There is one more carrot, if it looks like I'm going even better than that. My best friend, Kristen lives in Boston, and is trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon 2019. I have been made aware that the Kona marathon is a qualifier, if you meet the time required. That is 3:45 for my age group. It's a huge ask, and as I said, only IF things are going brilliantly. But hey, what a great carrot to keep me pushing? 

Again though, the process-based goal for the run is hydration, cooling at aid stations, and staying mentally strong on the tough bit out on the Queen K where they stop the supporters following the athletes (about 3.5km along the Queen K - an 11.2 km section that gets pretty tough mentally). 

Plus transitions

Usually I pride myself on my fast transitions. I certainly won't dawdle this year, but I'm going to make sure I gather myself, particularly in T2, and get some cold fluid on board. 

Now thanks

This is an individual sport, but we don't get to the start line without an enormous amount of emotional, physical and financial (!) support from other people.

Peter - my rock. You know I would give you my place here in a flash if I could. But I can't. So every part of my being will exude gratitude for your unwavering support of my endeavours. You work so hard to enable us to travel the world, and the effort you have put into building Wheelscience just so we can live this life, is testament to the passion that WILL get you to race here yourself one day.

My family - who, although may think I'm just crazy pursuing this sport year after year, unconditionally support me and follow my races. A special mention to my sister, Emma, who has been there this week for my Mum after her major surgery. Emma has 3 kids and a full time job, but not ONCE has she passed judgement on the fact that I am pursuing my dream, while she has taken on so much. Emma - several G&Ts are coming your way when I get there next week!

Xavier, my coach - I told you in 2015 that my health and enjoyment of the sport had to come before any PBs or trophies. You delivered the first bit, but I've also managed the second. I'm not looking forward to a rest after this race (although I will of course take one!) Instead I'm looking forward to continuing the wonderful consistency we have achieved in the past 2 years, and relishing the future.

Johnny, my swim coach - What can I say? You turned me into a swimmer Johnny! And you continue to give me belief that I can keep improving, with your irrepressible energy and enthusiasm.

My tri family - We have continued to be members of our original club, MELBOURNE TRI CLUB. We have made friends for life through that club, and together with the club members, and our old coach Sean, we have made so many amazing memories.
We are also members of TRIFITNESS. Johnny coaches swim sessions for these guys, but Matty, Kane and Jimmy have wholeheartedly welcomed us to the group, and those Wednesday morning rides kept me sane through winter!

Physiohealth - Cory and Justin - I haven't needed to see you (other than for my cracked rib) for the last 2 years, but I know that you follow our races, and we will always be grateful for all you have done for us.

Hammer nutrition - It's an incredible feeling to never have to be concerned about how your nutrition will go in an Ironman. Thanks to Hammer, I am on Ironman number 10, and other than a stupid mistake with my pre race meal last time in Kona, I have never had any gut issues.

Melbourne University Veterinary School - I have an incredible boss, Peter and great colleagues, who have never been anything but supportive of my racing, and my choice to have a flexible contract. I can't begin to say how much that means to me. 

Escaping the cold and banking some solid hours

My injured chest almost became the focus of another week's blog. I had a big day of driving and research on Monday, but did no heavy lifting that could worsen the injury, so when I woke up on Tuesday it felt the best it had since I fell. I went to squad swimming and used a snorkel, at the back of the lane. It wasn't too bad for about 30min, and really that's when I should have got out. But I wanted to finish the session and get the damn green box on my training peaks chart. So I swam for the full 60min, and by the end of the session, was kicking myself as my intercostal was spasming again, and was seriously painful for the first half of my 60min run. 

I was so angry at myself for chasing a perfect record on my program, with the cost being a potentially longer healing time. I messaged Xavier, my coach and asked him to remove any time or distance specifics from my swims for the next week or so- I would still attempt the swims, but just not be stressed about "failing" because I hadn't done them to the exact specifications on my program. 

Wednesday, I had a cracking ride/run in the morning, followed by a second run in the afternoon. I did this second run from the pool, so I was there ready to attempt my evening swim. By now, the anxiety had really set in, to the point where I almost didn't start the swim, in case I made it worse, or the pain was too bad. Although things were improving, I still had pain when I breathed deeply. 

I'm glad I did swim. I treated it purely as a learning exercise. What could I do without too much pain? And what made things worse? I realised that the extra effort to breathe through a snorkel or when swimming single arm actually made things worse than when I swam normally, and that I was most comfortable (in fact pain free) when I swam without breathing! Not ideal, but that, and the fact I could do backstroke with no pain confirmed that the issue all lay in the rib/intercostal/pleura areas rather than my swimming muscles. 

But enough about my stupid injury for now. 

The other awesome thing that happened on Wednesday was that I was asked to speak to year 12 VCE sports science students about training for and racing Ironman triathlon. They were a really lovely group of kids. I told them about my story, from the beginning in 2005, when I couldn't swim further than 250m, through to the prep for this race. I shared some of my thoughts on training (consistency is key, above all else), group vs solo training, the principles of Training Peaks, heat acclimation and more. They listened intently and asked some really pertinent questions. Hopefully it will help to cement some of the theory they have been taught, for their exams. 

Thursday I was privileged enough to escape the cold of Melbourne, with a trip to Townsville, from where I am writing this.

Before I write anything about the training I did in Townsville, I have to mention the couple who went out of their way to make this a training camp like no other. Rikki Lee and her partner, Kim. Rikki raced Kona in 2015 with me, and despite not having the day she wanted there, will, I am certain go back and dispense a lot of justice on the Big Island. Rikki planned things around all my sessions so she could either train with me, give me routes to go on, or even ride alongside me and hand me water. Amazing. Meanwhile Kim, who was busy training herself had food on the table as soon as we'd finished training, and insisted I relax when I wasn't training! They have been absolutely wonderful to me. If karma is a real thing, I think Rikki will have a LOT in the bank for her next race! 

The last 3 days have been pretty huge,  - the massive positive I take from them is that I've had no end of energy, and the legs felt strong in every session. 

Following a 3.5 hour ride on Friday, a 5.5 hour ride Saturday (with the toughest climb I have ever done - harder than the Back of Falls), I managed to average 5.32/km for my 30 km run in the heat on Sunday. I was really happy with that. There were too many amazing highlights during the Townsville sessions to recount them all here, but a selection of pictures below sum them up. 

With another big ride tomorrow, the weekend will have given my fitness a huge boost. It's also given me the chance to work on my hydration. I didn't drink nearly enough in the race in Cebu, so I've really worked on taking in more fluid during this trip. I set an alarm on my Garmin for every mile on my run (the distance between aid stations in Kona) and I took water and salt after every alarm.

Unfortunately the big ride (and climb) on Saturday must have hurt my chest, as today it was seriously painful for every breath of my 2h 45min run. I was so disappointed that such a wonderful, beautiful run could be spoiled by constant pain like that. I also felt bad because Rikki drove into town and rode alongside me for my last 30 minutes. I was pretty quiet (except when I was swearing about the chest!) but Rikki kept chatting away regardless. 

The great news is that after I'd written the paragraph above, I went with Rikki to swim in yet another gorgeous pool up here. To my amazement (and joy!) there was NO PAIN WHATSOEVER for the whole 2.5km swim, and my pace wasn't too far off what it would normally be on a Sunday. Of course shouting "I'M BAAAAACK!" to Rikki hurt like hell! 

4 weeks to go

The week's stats

I get knocked down.....but I get up again

....you ain't never gonna keep me down. Or so the song went (if I remember correctly from my post-rugby match drinking days)

And post-rugby match is exactly the way my body has felt since I face planted on Wednesday 😢

It's funny, what I love about writing these blogs is that I'm planning them in my mind all week (that can be a great distraction during long training sessions). But by Wednesday I was beginning to worry it would be a bit of a boring week, just a review of all the training sessions I was ticking off as planned. Until about 8am that is.

 I'd ridden that morning with the Trifitness crew. A really solid ride back into strong headwind, made harder by the indoor 2hr session I'd done in a 35C tent on Tuesday as part of the sodium study I'm involved with. 

I was absolutely frozen when I finished the ride - the wind had been bitterly cold. I stood by our heater for a few minutes, but decided I'd better just get my 30min run off the bike done, and then I could warm up.

The face plant

My feet were frozen, and I couldn't really feel them as I ran. I couldn't have been any more than about 4 min into the run, when a paving stone jumped up out of the ground and tripped me!!! I went down very very hard. Hit my hands and knees first, but I guess the rugby instincts kicked in and I immediately rolled on my right shoulder. I sat on the footpath, a little stunned. Checked my knee was ok, and there didn't seem to be any major damage. I walked a few steps, started jogging, and thought I must be OK. Finished the run, but felt what seemed like a little stitch in my right chest area, towards the end. I was in a bit of a daze the rest of the day, went to work, but wasn't very switched on. 

I went to the pool that night, and by then the chest was quite sore. But I wanted to know if it was even feasible to turn up to swim squad the next morning. Oh at this point I should mention that Johnny, my swim coach had returned from the UK and on Tuesday we had discussed how we would fine tune my swim in the next few weeks to get every extra percent I could for race day. "Icing on the cake, so to speak".
Hmmmm - best laid plans........

Well I swam about 1.5km, mostly single arm, and realised that a squad session in 12 hrs time was ridiculous. I messaged Xavier when I got home, told him the situation and he advised me to take the next day off completely and let everything settle down. This is why I need a coach. Many people follow online programs, and I'm sure they can work really well. But I would have tried to do the swim and run come what may, if it hadn't been for Xavier advising me not to. I did go for a walk, just to get some fresh air, but with deep breathing still hurting, I can't imagine that I could have run. Still, I was looking at the positives - I could easily have broken a collar bone the way I fell, or really hurt my knees. A bit of muscle soreness wasn't the end of the world. 

On Friday I got up, and the pain across my chest seemed less, although all the muscles in my right arm and shoulder felt tighter. I thought an easy swim might help to loosen them, so I hopped in the pool. Er no. Very easy swimming, with limited breathing was kind of ok (still, every stroke hurt), but even single arm with the good side hurt, and breathing deeply was even worse. I realised then that I'd probably damaged an intercostal muscle (between the ribs). 

Intercostal strain - hoping for a faster healing time than that!

Of course, this was a self-diagnosis, but us vets love to diagnose our own injuries! I managed one hour on the wind trainer and at least I could grip the brakes, so felt confident I'd be able to ride the next day. I loaded up on anti inflammatories on Friday night and hoped that another night would help settle it down. But I changed my ride plan just in case - I would ride out to the foot of the hills, about 90min, and Pete would drive out so there was a car in case I had to abort. Then I would do hill reps until my 5.5hrs was up. 

Saturday dawned, and as forecast, it was dry in Melbourne. But the "few showers" in the east turned out to be heavy rain, and by the time I got to The Basin, I was soaked. My chest had been really painful (like nauseating pain) for 30 min, but had eased up a bit as I got going. But sitting in the cafe at the bottom of the climb, and seeing the state of the cyclists who had been up the top, I realised that with a less than 100% functional right side, descending in the wet and cold could be dangerous. Pete arrived. There were tears. I think I said "if I have to train through another shit winter like this again, I just won't do this sport". Then I pulled myself together, and came up with a plan. I'd ride home, and depending on the weather when I got back, either complete the 5.5 hrs on the windtrainer indoors, or change clothes and head north (where it seemed drier) to do laps of Kew. That's what I ended up doing. I think mentally that has to be the hardest bike session of any race prep I have done. Just being so wet and cold, but also in constant pain, and unable to get out of the saddle on climbs, or push the descents made it seem more like 11hrs. I tried to run off the bike, and managed 15 min, but every breath in AND out felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest. It didn't get any worse, but I was wondering if I could tolerate that much pain for 2h 45 min during my long run the next day.
Fortunately I had a follow up appointment with Dr Mitch Anderson (who admirably consults on Saturday afternoons). I went in with my own self-diagnosis (which he correctly asked me to keep to myself until he'd assessed me!!!! Classic!) Anyway I was right! And fortunately he was thinking along the same lines as me - there is no functional problem with my arm or shoulder, just pain when I breathe deeply. So if we can control the pain and swelling, it won't keep impacting my training.
Hallelujah.....cortisone to the rescue!!
Now I want to add that I absolutely avoid anti-inflammatories and cortisone injections like the plague usually. Because as an endurance athlete, the usual reason we may need those interventions is because we have overdone things, and have overuse injuries/ niggles. And that means the best treatment is to back off or rest.
But this isn't overuse. It's a traumatic injury. Mitch mentioned that I may have also damaged the pleura (the thin layer of tissue that separates the lung from the chest wall). Any damage to that is incredibly painful. But there were no signs of effusion, or bleeding in the pleura, so he was confident the cortisone would settle the problem enough to make me more comfortable. Wow. What a relief! I knew when I woke up today that I could breathe more easily, and there was none of the stabbing pain there had been yesterday.
I can't say it's great, I could feel pain across my chest and back throughout my 29 km hill run, and I had to walk a couple of sections, rather than get out of breath, but I am SO grateful to Mitch for giving me the opportunity to do that run.
I also managed some kind of a swim this evening - using a snorkel, so I wasn't having to take deep breaths. And 1 km of single arm - well my left arm IS the weaker one, so that has to be a bonus!

I'm also really grateful to a couple of other people:

Zoe Clark. Zoe raced Kona with me in 2015. A formidable athlete, but she has stepped away from triathlon somewhat recently. I think she realised how I'd been struggling with loneliness during a lot of my weekend sessions, and she came out to meet me today and ran my second lap with me. Zoe, if you're reading this, I can't begin to say how grateful I am for that.

Peter. He worries about me. He knows how determined I can be to achieve my goals (whatever they actually are for this race - I'm not sure yet!!!). But also, he knows how self-destructive following those goals can be for me. I'm selfish a lot of the time. He, without question has compromised his own training recently, just to make sure I am supported and OK. Yesterday, he was up at 5am, making me coffee, driving out 40km, only to pack up and drive back again.

Peter - my rock

For my "one way epic" he rode INTO the wind, to meet me, while I was yelling "yeehaa" on my glory run with the wind. It is emotionally exhausting supporting someone like that. There have been times where the last thing he wants to talk about is triathlon. So all I can say is that I am utterly grateful for all of it.

Next year Pete wants to race the Ironman 70.3 World Champs in South Africa. I've qualified already (in Cebu), so after Kona, it's Pete's turn. Yes, I'll race next year, but not a full Ironman. It's Pete's turn to focus on his goals.

I dared to think that for my swim, the next few weeks would be the "icing on the cake". As I said earlier today, I'm confident I will be able to swim, and swim well in Hawaii, but maybe the icing will now be a little thinner (or lumpier!) than I might like. But that's Ironman. Goal number one HAS to be to make the start line healthy and in one piece. At the moment I feel a little broken, but 5 weeks is still plenty of time to heal. And when I played rugby, I always got up again, no matter how many times I was knocked down.

5 WEEKS TO GO

The week's stats - too many reds for my liking

Back on track, VO 2 the MAX and perspective

Back on track

VO2max test

This week really went well. There were very minimal signs of the hole I was in last week, although I did keep my appointment with Dr Mitch Anderson, and he ran some bloods just to make sure I have no obvious issues (more on his thoughts about my fatigue later). I also got to have a VO2 max test done as part of a study, which was pretty cool, but freaked me out a bit (also more later).

I ticked off all but one of my sessions relatively easily. The dodgy one was Thursday's run and I left it a bit late in the day. I've learned over the years that by Thursday, I need to get my run done by lunchtime otherwise my energy levels are pretty low. I had my long ride planned for Friday, so I started the run, but when I didn't feel much better by 10 mins in, I made the call to cut it to 30 min and save those chips for the next day. 

One way epic!

I'm so glad I did. I had a fabulous ride, done as a "one way epic". This is something I like to do once every Ironman prep. I got the train to Benalla (about 200 km north east of Melbourne) and rode 150 km one way to Wallan, where Pete had parked the car. He rode out to meet me and kept me company for the last 30 km. I think he was quite shocked when he joined me, as I was 100% in the zone and very focused on holding my target power (about 162 W average for the freeway section, which I was really happy with). 

Finishing my long run - with Hawaiian style plants behind me

The ride gave me a real confidence boost, and some great practice of focus and holding that Ironman effort for an extended period. Make no mistake though, I chose to ride in the direction that would give me tailwind, and obviously this could have given me an over-inflated opinion of the speed I was capable of holding. But I've done Hawaii twice, and I have extremely clear memories of that headwind on the Queen K! See perspective on my bike expectations.

A huge bonus to come from riding on Friday was that I could do a longer swim set on Saturday, and I banged out 5 x 1 km (plus change) relatively easily, and at a pretty decent pace. I followed that up with a 2.5 hr long hill run, which although not particularly fast, felt strong. The legs are definitely coming back.

VO2 max and Perspective 

First my conversation with Dr Mitch, who is an ex pro triathlete, and world 12 hr cycling record holder. When I discussed what had happened last week, he seemed to think I thoroughly cooked myself in the race in Cebu, although the effects of that didn't show up until later. A timely reminder to review my hydration strategy for Kona. I didn't pee for 13 hrs on race day in Cebu (so about 7 hours post race), which means I seriously under-did my hydration. It's easy to assume that after 9 Ironmans, 6 of which were in hot conditions, I would have dialed in my hydration strategy. But I think as our bodies change, so does the way we function in the heat. I am a lot heavier than in the past, and I probably needed more fluid in Cebu than I had realised. The whole situation has given me the opportunity to reassess my hydration plan, and to make sure I am on top of it for Hawaii.

The VO2 max test was interesting, frustrating and a little disappointing. I won't go into enormous detail, but it came out to be around 48, which I thought was pretty poor. Pete came to the rescue to give me some perspective (before I completely lost the plot) and found some charts that indicate it's not too bad. But (as is always the case on the bike for me), I felt like my legs failed way before my heart or lungs did - my max heart rate for the test was 153 bpm; incredibly low for most people. Another issue I had with the results was that I seemed to have a pretty low point at which I stopped burning fat, and switched to carbohydrate, despite having worked on my fat-burning capacity for years. Again, I won't go into an enormous amount of detail on this, but after reaching out to a few knowledgeable people in this field, this "crossover point" as it is known can be affected by a number of things on the day. What it did indicate to me was that my use of strategic carbohydrate on race day will be even more likely to help my performance, and I will look at my nutrition plan with that in mind.

I guess the other bit of perspective I gained was around my potential bike performance. I've always considered the bike my weak leg. But in IM New Zealand, I really had a breakthrough and my bike result was one of my strongest. But your VO2 max is really what determines what you are capable of. That results, and what I managed in my one way epic, although it was a good day, made me realise i'm not suddenly going to rock up to Kona and produce an uber-biker result. In 2011 I went under 6 hrs. But I've heard that year was one of the fastest for the bike results in the past decade. I am confident I can substantially improve on my 6.33 of 2015, however, and I guess anything faster than midway between those 2 times would be pretty good. So I guess that's goal number one - sub 6.15 for the bike.

The last bit of perspective I had was about distance and time. Early on in an Ironman build, the thought of a 5 hour ride seems crazy to me. On Friday, I was so in the zone, so focused on that ride, the time flew by. Then, hitting the pool for 5 x 1 km the next day, seemed like a breeze. I really love that in the past week or so, my brain has kicked into race prep mode properly, and my focus seems to have really come to the fore. I received the next 4 weeks program from my coach tonight. There are some massive weeks ahead, and I was so excited to see them!
The best session?
Friday September 29th: Swim 2 km of choice.
Why is that the best?
Because it will be in Kailua Bay in KONA!!!

The week's stats: 6 weeks to go

Good news, bad news, time to build my run

Good news

COLD hill ride

The good news is: I'M BACK TO MYSELF!!! I felt seriously lousy until Wednesday. I got out of the pool after 900m on Tuesday - I was swimming 1.43 for a "hard" 100m, when I have been swimming under 1.25. I had a good chat with Xavier, my coach on Wednesday and we made a bit of a plan to keep me ticking over, without causing any extra fatigue. The main thing was to remove any intensity from my training. (See bad news). I was feeling a bit better throughout Wednesday, although I struggled to teach my practical class in the afternoon, and just couldn't stay warm. But Thursday I woke up and instantly knew I felt better, refreshed from sleep and raring to go. I held myself back in my swim, but the energy was there, and times were good. I managed a good run the same day, and absolutely nailed my Friday 4x1km swim, despite really holding back.

My main goal for the entire week was to get through the weekend without hurting myself. My hill ride on Saturday didn't feel amazing, and my top end power wasn't there, but I certainly had plenty of energy. I needed it - it got ridiculously cold up there! 

Run home from the market

I ran twice on Saturday instead of the XC race. 30min off the bike, then 30min home from the market. I was looking on the bright side of not racing - I got to buy nice food and enjoy shopping at the market, in place of the race. 

Sunday went well too - more on that in the last section.

I'd love to know what was wrong for those 5 days. It may have been some kind of virus, especially given my inability to regulate my body temperature. Or it could have just been the culmination of overdoing things with the trip home from Cebu, travelling, working all the overtime and still trying to train. Regardless, I seem to be past it now, but just to be careful I'm seeing a sports doctor on Tuesday to get bloods done in case there was anything amiss. 

Bad news

Obviously I was sad to miss my last XC race of the season, but I made peace with that pretty easily.

I'm not going to go into much detail, but twice this week I had really bad news from people I care deeply about. The first, on Wednesday absolutely floored me, mainly I think because I was still feeling bad myself. It's so hard to be strong emotionally when you're struggling with illness or fatigue. The second lot of news, on Friday was even worse, but I was feeling much better, and I've been able to deal with it (as best I can). This is where mediation comes to the fore again. All the thoughts going around my head, all the "what ifs?" All the emotions. Mediation just brings me back to the present and helps me focus on what needs to be done now. I cannot recommend it enough. It's definitely changed my life for the better.

Time to build my run

So just leaving the present aside for a minute, now I'm feeling better I have been able to just (a little bit) look forward to the coming weeks. As I mentioned previously, we front loaded the prep with more juke volume, slightly less run focus. But despite the extra weight I'm carrying into this race, I don't want to feel like I've neglected the run. Today was a 2h15 long run, which was made INFINITELY easier because I hooked up with some friends at the Tan running track (3.8k loop) and we ran one way while other friends were doing a marathon (that's 11laps 😳) the other. I was so, so grateful to have some company, and the time flew. 

With the double run yesterday, that's 35km in 24hrs, and Xavier has given me an 1 hour run tomorrow morning, so I'm excited that those 3 days will give my run a good boost going into the final 6 weeks. I will chat to Xavier about how he wants to build up my run fitness, but more importantly strength for that back half of the marathon in Kona. Much as I LOVE hard efforts, they take me a long time to recover from. So I suspect there will be plenty of hills on my running horizon in the coming weeks. And no matter if it's riding or running, boy do I love hills! (Maybe it's the Welsh part of me!) 

7 weeks to go

Week totals

I got nuthin

KEEP IT REAL. That's my most used mantra. If you're going to engage in social media, I think the only way you can preserve the 'real you' is to dispense with the sugar coating and show the bad as well as the good. So this week's blog won't be all trophies, PBs and monster weeks. Far from it.

My lovely students

I kind of ground to a halt this week. I bounced out of bed Monday morning at 4.45am, did my 90min ride with the Trifitness crew, cooked breakfast, drove up the Hume to Dookie (250km) and got started on what was a great week of work with a great group of final year vet students.
I nailed every training session (except 2 slightly shortened rides) in the week, and even fitted in a bonus swim on my way back from a full day visiting an incredible 2000 cow dairy.

My indoor set up at Dookie college. Hooray for Netflix!

But my energy levels in training were lower than last week. My swims were really slow, given my effort level. As I said last week, my swimming is often the first indication of fatigue, but not something I stress about too much if the drop is just in swimming. But my efforts on Wednesday on the bike were also off. I was on the indoor trainer (all 3 rides in Dookie had to be indoors due to torrential rain and gale force wind), and my power meter wasn't working, but I couldn't get my heart rate up even to what I held for 90km in Cebu during the efforts, and that is a clear sign of fatigue in me. Still, I didn't panic. I was still running well, and felt good in myself, so I stuck to the schedule. My evening swim on Friday night, straight off a 3.5hr drive actually went really well, so I was pretty confident I'd be ok for all the big weekend sessions (culminating in a cross country race Sunday afternoon).

We'd looked at the forecast and there was some seriously bad weather due on Saturday. Pete suggested maybe swapping the ride to Sunday and running Saturday, but I was keen to stick to the planned sessions. I did want some company, so I intended to join the MTC group on their ride along Beach Rd and beyond. 

The alarm went off, and I pressed snooze about 4 times. I was exhausted. Pete was already up and came in saying "if we leave in the next hour, we'll be soaked the minute we go out". I looked at the radar, and suggested we drive to Frankston, ride 4.5hrs from there (which would mean more hills, less flat), run off the bike there and then head to JVW's swim session at 3pm from Frankston. Sorted.
Well not quite. If I'm honest, I felt terrible as soon as I got up. my legs were really heavy, and i dragged myself into the car. We got to Frankston about 10am, and saw a load of our mates heading back the other way, including Kristy Hallett, who I am thrilled will be also racing her 3rd Kona with me in 8 weeks. Massive kudos for that ride KK.
We sat in the car for 90 mins at Frankston foreshore while it poured with rain. I cried. I was just spent, and couldn't imagine getting on the bike. Did I mention it was our 17th wedding anniversary? Instead of a champagne brunch together, we were sitting in Frankston, looking out at the rain while I cried. Ridiculous.
And that was where all the mental battery began. I was silently bullying myself into training, when everything in my body was saying "no".
"I'm just mentally weak"
"I'll never achieve my goals at Kona"
"I'm looking for excuses"
"I'm going to lose fitness"
"I'll keep gaining weight"
Remember - I have ignored my body before, and listened to those voices instead. It has not led to a very favourable outcome.
So I started to negotiate:
"How about I do a massive swim day? A 3-4km set of 500s, then JVW's drill session?"
I even suggested this to Pete - he thought it sounded like a good plan. But I literally couldn't imagine getting in the pool.
"Ok, I'll just do a 30min jog" (by now the sun was out, and Frankston looked as nice as Frankston can look".
Debated that one for.......about 30min.
Cried again.
This was when it dawned on me.
I am SO MOTIVATED. I WORK HARD FOR MY GOALS (too hard in the past). THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!
And it is not fair on Pete to spend our anniversary with him trying to nurse me through feeling like shit.

My Grandfather, Frank Sewell (BEM)

So I suggested something that I know he loves, I and I knew would take my mind off my disaster of a day. The cinema.
We went to see Dunkirk. My Grandfather, Frank Sewell was on the destroyer ships that were rescuing those soldiers, and he was awarded the British Empire Medal for his role in that.
Gives you some perspective. Those men weren't pushing themselves to exhaustion for their career, or sporting accolades. They were just surviving. And what I do, what I am training for is incredibly important to me (and to others who "get" what Hawaii is all about), but really in the scheme of things, in 10 years, am I going to turn around and say "hey, that Saturday I missed has really changed the course of my life!" No way.
So I drew a line under the day, went to have a beautiful dinner with Pete, and had a great night's sleep, ready to hit my Sunday with gusto.
NO WAY JOSE
Woke up (to an alarm) after nearly 10 hours sleep, and as soon as I got out of bed, I knew I felt no better. Absolutely dead legs, achy back, sore knees. Wow. Back to bed. Repeat. Until about 11.30am. I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. And, despite the perspective I'd had yesterday, I still questioned why I didn't want to go for my run. Tears ensued again. Pete suggested we just press reset this weekend and start again tomorrow. I just couldn't deal with that. NO TRAINING, when I had about 9.5hrs planned? That's CRAZY! Especially when I'm not ill! Or am I?
That's when the second guessing began. Questions like:
Am I ill? - Well the way I work, unless I'm being wheeled into an ambulance, no I'm never ill. But seriously, I suppose my sinuses have felt a little inflamed, and I have been a little head achy, but that's it.
Is it lack of sleep? - possibly, but you'd think last night would have sorted that out.
Is it the big week at Dookie? - maybe a contributing factor, but I trained really well last weekend, off an less-than-ideal week
Is it my diet? Am I eating enough? Am I eating too much?  - I haven't eaten crap while I was away (I took a lot of my own foods) but I've probably eaten more carbs than usual. I'm sure I'm eating enough. I'm not losing weight, so maybe I'm eating too much. But how would that make me feel shit?
Do I just not cope well with Ironman training? - OMG. Seriously? After 9 Ironmans? 

Honestly, the list goes on. I even thought "maybe I'm not cut out to race Kona again"
And really, there are no answers to any of those questions, so it's better I just stop asking.

It was a beautiful sunny day here today. The first in a week. And Pete was keen to run. So I said I would run to the park with him, just to see how I felt, and walk if I was no good. The first kilometre was 6.45. Felt like 5.45. Ok, definitely NQR (Not Quite Right). I ran for 40 min, and some of it felt ok. It certainly made me feel better, but I think it also solidified the fact that this weekend wasn't going to be a good weekend, and maybe I was better off listening to the body (for once) and cutting my losses.
I went to the community (free) meditation at Happy Melon tonight. It was amazing, as always, and one of the teachers discussed our thoughts and how we can deal with them. Ask 3 questions of a thought:
1. Is it true?
2. Is it useful?
3. Is it kind?
I probably could have done with that yesterday, but it certainly meant a lot to me to hear it today.
I actually discussed what had gone on this weekend after the meditation. I love that we have discussions in these classes, and someone asked me to share what it all meant for me. I was embarrassed to be talking to these 'normal' people about my crazy batshit hobby that leads me to train all weekend, and then mentally berate myself if I don't manage to get green all over my training peaks page. And yet, after the class, several people approached me and wished me luck for Hawaii, and genuinely seemed to admire what it was I was doing. I guess our 'normal' is what a lot of people would aspire to do, but haven't yet got the belief that they can.
Pete put it best when he reminded me that I haven't wrecked this prep because of 2 days, and I need to remember how consistent I have been in the past months, years, and even the last 10 years. I cannot begin to say how lucky I am to have that man beside me.
And so, I've pressed "reset". Let's start again tomorrow.

8 weeks to go

The week's stats (All of Sunday will end up red)

Phillipines heaven and lessons I learned

This week's blog needs to be fairly short and sweet, as I have some champagne to drink tonight!

I got to race in a little bit of paradise today. I call it paradise, not because of the crystal clear waters (a diving Mecca), nor because of the spectacular Shangri La hotel, where the race is held. Not even because of the amazing WARMTH we escaped from Melbourne winter to enjoy. No, it is paradise because of the people. The Filipinos are some of the friendliest, helpful and accomodating people we have ever met, and this just absolutely made the race. Tens of thousands of screaming school kids lining the bike course was just a sight to behold, and made me smile for a large portion of the race.

I managed to win my age group, was 14th female overall and bagged a slot for the 70.3 WC in S. Africa next year. My time was nothing special, but that's lesson #1: you can't define your performance by times when you choose to race in tough conditions. Kona is the same- one year can be vastly different from another. My real definition of my performance there will have to be based on the question: Did I execute the race to the best of my ability, and give it everything I had? 

A few other lessons came up from the race

Swim: I always thought I could never really produce a good swim result unless I was drafting on feet. But today, I had no feet the whole way round, and still came away with a good result. There was a massive current, so all the times including the pros were slow, but to be around 4 min behind Pete, without being on feet was a big step forward. I think I could improve my sighting though, and be a bit more savvy about reading the current (I got tangled in ropes a few times!)

Bike: In the heat, it is so vital that you are on top of your hydration on the bike. I also find that as the time goes on in the hot conditions, I can't take in as much nutrition, so front-loading a bit seems to work. I think that having a regime of drinking to a set time is invaluable. I usually set an alarm on my bike computer for this - I didn't today, but I'll make sure I do for Kona. I also got through a LOT of salt today (half a tube of the BASE salt). That seemed to help a lot with the hydration status - I got none of the dizziness I often experience in the heat. I'll make sure I'm on top of that for Kona too.

Run: Wow, such a frustrating, yet eventually satisfying run. I set off at a pace my legs told me I was able to do; somewhere between 4.55 and 5.10 per km. But within the first 3km, my heart rate was creeping up, and I was really beginning to feel overwhelmed by the heat. I didn't even question pulling back (which mainly happened as I started walking through aid stations, taking my time to get ice on board and hydrate). I tried not to get despondent as I saw my splits getting slower. Really I had been hoping for somewhere around a 1.50 run, but I knew that if I tried to push, it might blow out completely. So in the end, I ran a 1.56, and my last 3kms were 5.27, 5.22 and 5.18. So muscularly, I felt there would have been more, if I hadn't been in damage limitation with the heat. I took a few lessons away from this for Kona

1. I need to manage my body temperature in the final stages of the bike.

2. The extra weight I am carrying may have contributed to me overheating BUT

3. Some of the extra weight I am carrying seems to be giving me good strength

The upshot is, I will try to go into Kona a little leaner, but I'm not going to chase the kind of weight I have raced at there before. I refuse to make myself miserable by restricting what I eat, and I think there are other measures I can implement to help me deal with the heat.

For now, I'm going to enjoy a few drinks, make sure I get another couple of open water swims in, and prepare myself to freeze when I head up to N. Victoria for work for the next couple of weeks

10 weeks to go

Camp and camaraderie

This week finished really well, but I was quite flat Monday and Tuesday after the hard bike session and XC run last Saturday. On top of that I had a pretty hectic work week, with 3 trips to Werribee for teaching. I usually try to limit my days out there to 2 for the week, or I fit in a ride commute around one of the days, which makes my schedule way more efficient. I really admire people who drive for a living - it exhausts me! Friday was crazy - we got our swim done (I managed a 16.27 for one of my 1k efforts, which is a PB), then a quick turnaround so I could drive the 50min out to Werribee to do a tutorial, drive back, meet Pete (who had packed the car), drive to do our movement session with Richard Sekesan (more on that later) and then straight down to Lorne for the MTC/Fluid winter training camp. Pete dropped me 20km short with my bike so I could do my 1hr ride. I was exhausted when I got there, but we also fitted in a sauna session, to help with our heat acclimation for Cebu next weekend.

A great weekend in Lorne with tri friends

It was awesome to be able to go away, though with a huge group of our tri friends. I love this sport for the friendships it has brought me, and it's always so inspiring to spend a weekend training (and having a couple of wines) with like-minded people. Camaraderie at its very best.

I've had incredibly mixed experiences at club training camps though - all due to the way I have approached them. In the past, I've ended up in tears, or completely demoralised if I've gone to a camp, wanting to ride or run with the group, then found myself out at the back. As an Ironman athlete, in the middle of a prep, I will rarely be in a position to be able to hang with the faster athletes in a group.

Running at my own pace and enjoying the rainbow

Fortunately with many years' experience I have way more perspective on this. I'd dearly love to have more company when I'm training, but going into a weekend like this knowing that I'll actually be training solo is way better than killing myself to keep up and paying for it days later. I can always socialise at dinner or brunch once the session is done.

I definitely wanted to be conservative this weekend. I have the shortest taper I've ever had into a 70.3 race this week. Usually if it were an "A" race, I'd taper at least 12-14 days out, but this was a full week of training. I have a complete rest day tomorrow though - hurray! It will be interesting to see how I go in Cebu. With the conditions being as hot as any race I will have done, it will certainly come down to aerobic fitness and heat management, rather than the top few % of speed. And with Kona only 11 weeks away, I couldn't really afford a complete taper (and then recovery) for a 70.3. I'm confident my swim and bike should be really strong, and the fitness is probably there for a fairly decent run. 

But mostly I'm looking forward to another trip to the warmth, and a bit of down time. I specifically chose a race that was a decent time out from Kona, so I could enjoy racing it and have a mini holiday alongside (even if that is only a couple of days). 

Before I finish, just a note on the movement coaching we've been doing. Richard Sekesan is a 10-time Ironman finisher himself, and was a PT but became fascinated by gymnastics and movement a few years ago. He has an amazing approach to strength and conditioning, and Peter and I have been going to see him for a couple of months. I have done yoga for many years, and I think that helped my core strength and flexibility, but it is very single-plane focused (the same plane as swim/bike/run) Richard is teaching us to use and move our bodies with more awareness and I think this will be really beneficial for us. I find it hard to schedule his "homework" though. Pete is super-disciplined and gets up 20-30min early to do it before training. I'm not a morning person at the best of times! So my goal from this week onward is to schedule some time every day to doing these important exercises. To see more of some of the amazing stuff Richard does - here's his Instagram page http://instagram.com/swimbikeruneatsleep

This week has gone so quickly! I can't believe that in 7 days I'll be in Cebu writing my next blog, post-race. Bring it on! 

Training this week: 

11weeks to go.

12 weeks to Hawaii Ironman World Champs - Survival

One of the pleasures of my previous two races in Kona was writing my "12 weeks to Hawaii" blogs. The first focused mostly on the weekly training, volume, hours etc. Link here:
12 weeks to Hawaii - the first blog

The second, on my build up to the 2015 race was a lot more reflective of my thoughts and feelings about the build up to the race. Link here:

12 weeks to Hawaii - the return!

I guess this blog will be a combination of the two - my biggest view ever was my "Top tips for success in Ironman....for age group triathletes". So I guess that's the kind of thing people like to read (not that I think I'm much of an authority!)

So, where am I with my prep? And why the heading of this blog?

Physical state

Physically - I think I'm in a better place than ever before, regarding my swimming and cycling. I met with my coach, Xavier after IMNZ and he said he wanted to make sure my levels of enthusiasm for training (which were obviously pretty high, post race) didn't gradually decline all winter. So we planned to load up the bike kms while the weather was ok, and keep the running-induced fatigue low early on.

Training in Noosa

 I've been lucky enough to take a couple of trips to warmer climes too. We flew up to Cairns in June, coinciding with the Ironman up there, where some athletes were racing on our Wheelscience wheels and I did a big few days on the bike/swim, then I had a week up in Noosa in early July. What an incredible experience, to train like a pro! I have seen some huge improvements in my swimming, and fitness in general (eg resting heart rate) as a result of that week.
My running has a fair way to go (but hey, 12 weeks is a long time!) I've had some positive signs that it's on the improve, like a couple of my runs off the bike. But I gained a LOAD of weight after IMNZ, (which I raced at the heaviest of any of my Ironmans anyway). I refuse to starve myself though - I am very much focused on recovery and how I feel, rather than what I look like, and numbers on the scales. But, there's no denying that run performance is inversely correlated to weight, and unless you can do a lot of speed work to get those bigger legs firing, the excess kgs will cost. They are coming off slowly though, and while I know that I don't want to be racing in the heat of Kona carrying too much extra weight, my "ideal race weight" for the race that I want over there, may be very different from previous years, if my current swim and bike numbers are anything to go by.

Mental state

From the training perspective, I'm in a great place. I utterly detest riding indoors on the windtrainer, but we are having some really bad weather in Melbourne, and I am persuading myself that the indoor sessions in a heated room (it's often 30C by the time we've done the session and steamed it up!) will really help with our next race on 6th August (Cebu 70.3 in the Philippines) . Also, remember I am married to an Ironman athlete who would LOVE to get to Kona - that's a good reminder that I chose to take the slot, and I'm extremely fortunate to be having a third crack at it.


But the biggest risk to my training, recovery (and I believe weight loss) are the other stressors I allow to impact me. I have had a lot of stress at work the last year or so. I am on a fixed - term part time contract, and although there was an opportunity to apply for a full time permanent role, I chose not to, as I believe it would have severely limited other aspects of my job, and life in general. Of course this decision has left me having to fight to keep some kind of a job in teaching, and scrabbling to find research funding. I also had the culmination of a huge, 2-year research project at the end of June - a pretty stressful few weeks as I tried to write up the final report! But I love the work I do, and I still think the stress is worth it, when I find new answers in my research, or a student tells me I have inspired them (and I don't mean athletically!)

Larger-than-life Travis "happy" Tremayne with me in Kona in 2013

And now on to the "Survival" aspect of the blog title. In the past month, we have learned that 3 very close friends have had serious illnesses. This threw me into a huge turmoil, emotionally. I am talking about 3 healthy, fit people here, all in their 40s, all with life-threatening illnesses. It made me question a lot about my life, and my approach to it. Ambition in my career - why? Goals in triathlon - why? Being organised, and planning every day of our lives - why? I have seriously questioned the point of any of it. And yet, the ironic thing is that I believe all 3 of these amazing people would not for a second question those things. They are all ambitious, driven go-getters who grab life by the balls, and make every day count. Which makes it suck even more that they should be dealt these health blows. The other thing that really stands out when I read their stories or talk to them is the will to survive. And hence the word in the title, Survival. We talk about it flippantly as athletes "oh, by the last 5km, it was just survival". No it's not. What our friends are doing - having surgeries, radiotherapy, taking meds. THAT's survival. And I will remember that when times get tough in the coming months, and in Kona itself. They, and others struggling with their health will inspire me. And I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about the emotional stress their news has caused me. I'd happily take that on board if it meant I could in some way help their recovery.

The week's totals, for the numbers geeks! : 12 weeks to go